Working Up

by Dwayne Phillips

Sometimes no one will talk to me. There is a big message in the silence. All I have to do is find it.

I asked for input, but no one said anything.

I’ve heard that a few thousand times. The person is open for advice, criticism, anything from anyone. They are met with silence.

Sometimes silence is the loudest message

This is a tough one. Sometimes people don’t want to talk to me. That is their advice, criticism, anything. I may be

• unapproachable
• irrelevant
• frightening
• giving a bad physical odor

I could go on with the above list.

Listening to the silence

One question I ask myself is, “do I hear the silence.” I can stand around tapping my foot and leaning against the wall for hours. Then I shrug and walk away. But did I hear the message in the silence?

The message

What is the message? Well, the list above might contain it. I could think of other things for the list. I could speculate for days. I could drive myself crazy trying to think of the reason for the silence.

Try again

Stand up and say, “I haven’t heard from anyone. I am uneasy and a little bit scared about this. Please come to me and tell me why you didn’t come to me before.”

Sometimes that brings people. Often it does not. So I walk away with this message:

No one wants to talk to me at this time.

Notice, I did not conclude

• No one ever talks to me
• No one will ever talk to me
• I am a pathetic person