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Change and Why Those Other Guys Just Don’t Get It

November 9th, 2015 · No Comments

by Dwayne Phillips

Why don’t those other guys see what is so obvious to us? Because they didn’t have the same experience we did, and we don’t want to do the work required.

We go through a changing experience, i.e., an experience that changes our concept of something. (I use the word “we” because it is always “we” who are on the forefront of something important while it is always “they” who lag behind for obvious reasons.)

We want them to change their concept to agree with our new concept. No matter how hard we try, they don’t change like we changed.

What is wrong with them?

Simple: They didn’t have the changing experience we did.

This is most often found when a small group of people spend time considering a situation. Through time, this small group comes to a new conclusion. The small group returns to a larger group and shouts, “Hey! Look at this. Let’s go!”

The larger group stands back and shrugs. The small group ponders the dimwitted people in the larger group.

Let’s review what has happened in small steps:

  • small group
  • lots of time
  • lots of discussion
  • change

And then let’s consider “them:”

  • larger group
  • almost no time
  • almost no discussion
  • no change

How can we expect them to see our new concept when they didn’t have the same experience? Somehow, we do, and we are greatly disappointed in “them.”

So what do we do? How do we have them see the new reality as we see it? The answer is not nice as it involves time and hard work.

1. realize what has happened (the most difficult step)

2. find a way to recreate the changing experience with the larger group

3. perform that changing experience with the larger group

4. maintain the energy to do all this hard work (and it is hard work and maintaining that energy is the second most difficult step)

Perhaps, just perhaps, they—those people in the larger group—will finally understand what we understand. Then again, perhaps we will conclude that the new understanding isn’t worth all that work and time.

Tags: Adults · Change

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