{"id":3045,"date":"2020-01-23T01:31:16","date_gmt":"2020-01-23T06:31:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/?p=3045"},"modified":"2020-01-11T09:44:17","modified_gmt":"2020-01-11T14:44:17","slug":"stop-listening-start-paying-attention","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/2020\/01\/stop-listening-start-paying-attention\/","title":{"rendered":"Stop Listening; Start Paying Attention"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">by Dwayne Phillips<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>In addition to hearing the message, pay attention to the meta-message.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A few years ago, I wrote here about <a href=\"http:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/2017\/12\/stop-listening-dont-wonder\/\">stop listening\u2014cautiously\u2014and start teaching<\/a>. This current post regards stop listening to the individual words; pay attention to the meta-message or the message about the message.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Someone comes to me with anger. They don&#8217;t like fill-in-the-blank. I can concentrate on fill-in-the-blank, or I can pay attention to something more important.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Anger. Where on the scale of &#8220;little energy&#8221; to &#8220;much energy&#8221; does anger fall? I would put it closer to much energy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Much energy. Where on the scale of &#8220;not important&#8221; to &#8220;much important&#8221; does much energy fall? I would put it closer to much important.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Much important. Okay. Here we are. A person has come to me and told me what is much important to them. What is it? What is behind or underneath or surrounding their fill-in-the-blank?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Am I recoiling at their anger, i.e., listening to their words? Am I finding what is important to them, i.e., paying attention to the meta message?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There are times when I listen to their words. There are times when I also pay attention to the meta message. This isn&#8217;t easy, and no one ever said it would be.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by Dwayne Phillips In addition to hearing the message, pay attention to the meta-message. A few years ago, I wrote here about stop listening\u2014cautiously\u2014and start teaching. This current post regards stop listening to the individual words; pay attention to the meta-message or the message about the message. Someone comes to me with anger. They don&#8217;t [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[116,32,275,406],"tags":[228,154,276,407],"class_list":["post-3045","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-authentic","category-communication","category-listening","category-meta","tag-authentic","tag-communication","tag-listening","tag-meta"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3045","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3045"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3045\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3046,"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3045\/revisions\/3046"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3045"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3045"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3045"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}