{"id":3064,"date":"2020-02-24T01:59:18","date_gmt":"2020-02-24T06:59:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/?p=3064"},"modified":"2020-02-08T09:10:05","modified_gmt":"2020-02-08T14:10:05","slug":"writing-clarity-band-aids-and-rewriting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/2020\/02\/writing-clarity-band-aids-and-rewriting\/","title":{"rendered":"Writing, Clarity, Band-Aids, and Rewriting"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">by Dwayne Phillips<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Sometimes we want to clarify what we have written. Adding to the end (a few words onto a sentence, a few sentences onto a paragraph, a few paragraphs onto a chapter, etc.) works, but is merely an ugly band-aid. Rewrite instead.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I did tripped again this morning. I wrote a sentence that wasn&#8217;t clear. I &#8220;fixed&#8221; it by adding a few words to the end. (This is a summary of https:\/\/www.anandtech.com\/show\/15483\/amd-threadripper-3990x-review.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Original<\/strong>: A look at AMD&#8217;s 64-core processor as AMD is taking the top spot in high-performance processors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Clarified<\/strong>: A look at AMD&#8217;s 64-core processor as AMD is taking the top spot in high-performance processors away from Intel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">See how this is better? Gasp. Lazy. Just add a prepositional phrase and it is all better. Not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Rewrite<\/strong>: AMD continues to surpass Intel in high-performance processors with this 64-core model.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The rewrite is shorter than both. It also emphasizes the two actors (AMD and Intel). It took more effort, i.e., not as lazy. And it doesn&#8217;t have that band-aid hanging off the end of the sentence begging to be ripped off and tossed in the trash.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by Dwayne Phillips Sometimes we want to clarify what we have written. Adding to the end (a few words onto a sentence, a few sentences onto a paragraph, a few paragraphs onto a chapter, etc.) works, but is merely an ugly band-aid. Rewrite instead. I did tripped again this morning. I wrote a sentence that [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32,5],"tags":[154,128],"class_list":["post-3064","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-communication","category-writing","tag-communication","tag-writing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3064","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3064"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3064\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3065,"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3064\/revisions\/3065"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3064"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3064"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3064"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}