by Dwayne Phillips<\/p>\n
In an earlier post, I discussed difficult people and reframing statements. Once again, I meet a difficult person. Once again, I can choose how frame the situation, and once again I can choose how to live and work.<\/strong><\/p>\n I worked with a different set of people this week. Some of those people were difficult to work with<\/em>.<\/p>\n [1] Now let’s reframe a bit. <\/strong>Change<\/p>\n They were difficult to work with<\/p><\/blockquote>\n to<\/p>\n I had difficulty working with them.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n [2] Delve into some of the behavior.<\/strong><\/p>\n One of the people I had difficulty with had this habit of looking at me when I asked him a question, but then he would turn away and look at the computer screen when answering my question.<\/p>\n [3] Why did this bother me? <\/strong>Because:<\/p>\n You are supposed to look at people when you talk to them.<\/p>\n It is disrespectful not to look at someone when you talk to them.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n That person was misbehaving and disrespecting me. Right? Hmm, what is the source of those statements?<\/p>\n Adults told these things to me when I was a child.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n But wait,<\/p>\n I am no longer a child<\/p><\/blockquote>\n and<\/p>\n I am an adult and can decide for myself<\/p><\/blockquote>\n [4] Now it is time to change me.<\/strong><\/p>\n I can’t change the other person<\/p><\/blockquote>\n but<\/p>\n I can change me.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n I can choose to<\/p>\n not apply things that adults told me as a child to other people<\/p>\n not feel disrespected when someone faces away while talking to me.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n If I did these two things, I would no longer have difficulty working with that person. That person would cease to be a difficult person.<\/p>\n [5] If I choose to change me<\/strong><\/p>\n One of the things about being an adult is that we get to choose what we do most of the time.<\/p>\n I can choose to change me<\/p><\/blockquote>\n or<\/p>\n I can choose to keep labeling others as “difficult” and hold onto my excuses<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Well…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" by Dwayne Phillips In an earlier post, I discussed difficult people and reframing statements. Once again, I meet a difficult person. Once again, I can choose how frame the situation, and once again I can choose how to live and work. I worked with a different set of people this week. Some of those people […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,51,60,67],"tags":[143,173,180,187],"class_list":["post-589","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-change","category-choose","category-reframe","category-work","tag-change","tag-choose","tag-reframe","tag-work"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/589","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=589"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/589\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":591,"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/589\/revisions\/591"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=589"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=589"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dwaynephillips.net\/workingup\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=589"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}