Working Up

by Dwayne Phillips

We often give power and control to our surroundings. This change of words returns those to me.

I have heard it many times and said it a few times. Things like:

I am under a lot of stress.

This is a stressful situation.

The stress here is too much.

Let’s look at the second statement a little closer and try to reframe it.

This is a stressful situation.

Try a reframe like:

I am distressed (or grieved or perplexed or anxious or some other adjective that fits for you).

The first statement gives all power and might to the situation. It is stressful. It has its hold on me. It cannot be stopped.

The second statement is about myself. I am feeling a negative something that I would rather not be feeling.

I prefer the second. In the reframe, the feelings are mine. I can do something to change the way I feel. I can do nothing and keep the feeling. The choice and the power to choose are mine, hence the control is mine.

The reframe has taken me from the situation is all powerful to I am all powerful. I like the latter much better.