Working Up

by Dwayne Phillips

An identity rule is something that I must have or must do or must be to maintain my identity.  If you violate an identity rules, you lose your identity.

People have rules, I know I have my own rules. Have you ever tied the shoe laces of another adult? That would be a kind thing to do, except that you don’t tie another adult’s shoe laces. That breaks some type of privacy rule.

Consultant and author Jerry Weinberg, has often discussed “survival rules.” These are rules that if broken leads a person to cease to exist. We develop these rules as small children, but often keep them with us once we are fully capable adults. (That is a short and inadequate description of survival rules. Maybe another post one day.)

Similar to survival rules are what I call identity rules. An identity rule is something that I must have or must do or must be to maintain my identity.  If you violate an identity rules, you lose your identity.

Consider as an example Naval aviators. They fly aircraft. Well, so do aviators in the Air Force; they also fly aircraft. Naval aviators, however, operate their aircraft from ships. Air Force aviators operate from the land.

We operate aircraft from ships

is an identity rule for Naval aviators. Consider,

if we did land-based aviation operations, we might as well be in the Air Force.

That is an indication of an identity rule. Any statement of the form,

If we did or had or were such-and-such, we might as well be so-and-so

indicates an identity rule.

Violate identity rules at your peril. Suggest Naval aviators conduct land-based aviation and watch the ensuring riot. Suggest college professors give up tenure and watch the ensuing riot. Suggest politicians give up limousines and watch the ensuring riot. I could continue with more examples.

If you say something (that seems) simple and are given (what seems to be) an irrational response, you may have hit an identity rule.