Working Up

by Dwayne Phillips

Try as we might, we often jump to a conclusion while bypassing the rather boring gathering of facts. Results are predictable and predicted.

“Jump to conclusions” is an old cliche. Let’s try to put a little more thought into this topic.

Consider the Satir Interaction Model from the late family therapist Virginia Satir. One description of the model is given here. There are four basic steps

1. Intake
2. Meaning
3. Significance
4. Response

Intake is what I receive from a person sending me a message. Intake is from the five senses, i.e., what I hear, touch, taste, smell, and see. Meaning is how I interpret the intake, i.e., my conclusion. Significance is the importance I assign to the Intake and Meaning. Response is how I choose to respond to the first three.

Consider the Intake and Meaning. Here is where I jump to conclusions. I immediately tell myself things like, the other person:

• is attacking me
• is stupid
• is just joking
• is confused

I don’t take the time to consider the Intake. I don’t consider:

• the other person said these words…
• the other person’s email contained these words…
• the other person made this facial expression…
• the other person stood, sat, walked, ran…

Instead, I have already assigned Meaning and am charging off to conquer the world or some noble task like that.

Stop. Breathe. Consider the Intake. Concentrate on the Intake. Dwell on the Intake. If I could think of another thing to do with the Intake that would take a few moments, I would add that to the list.

Avoid the jump to conclusion (Meaning).