Working Up

by Dwayne Phillips

That one person won’t be attending today. Everyone sighs in relief. What does that tell us?

I’ve attended more meetings than most people. I have 28 years of government work to thank for that. There was almost always one or a few people scheduled to attend the meeting that I was happier if they missed.

I was not alone. Most people were happy that so-and-so was absent. The meeting went faster; people were not upset, and we all left happier with more accomplished.

What does this tell us?

• the absent so-and-so was a real jerk
• the rest of us were jerks for hating so-and-so
• the rest of us didn’t understand so-and-so

I could go on. It seems that the question is,

Who was wrong? That one so-and-so or everyone else?

Math tells me that so-and-so was wrong and everyone else was right. Math, however, is not a person and was not involved in the emotions of the persons.

Time tells me that everyone was at fault. So-and-so was doing something that some of us didn’t like. We, however, never said anything. We sat in the room with our fingers crossed under the table wishing that so-and-so would miss the meeting.

Crossing fingers and wishing are childish practices.

(Note, I wrote childish not child-like.)

Adults confront fears.