Working Up

by Dwayne Phillips

People are free to choose their reactions to events. I am included in “people.” We all are.

I don’t know how many times I have heard the phrase that is the title of this post. There are countless variations:

• You tell him that!
• That’s easy to say when s/he isn’t around.
• The last person to say something like that to him…
• and so on.

Okay, so I or we say something to someone and they “get mad.” That person is an adult and they are free to react to an event as they wish with whatever emotion they wish. As an aside, they are not free to do anything they want to do, e.g., hit people, etc.

If “s/he” wants to react by being angry, so be it.

But you don’t know what it’s like to be around him when he is angry.

True statement. I don’t know what that is like. I can guess, but I don’t know.

I am also an adult. I choose how I will react to him being angry. I can:

• laugh
• roll my eyes
• yawn
• leave the room for a few minutes

You can’t do that!

Yes, I can, and I have reacted to anger in all of these and more ways.

Allow me to repeat this:

I am also an adult. I choose how I will react.

The same is true of you if your birth certificate indicates you are of age.