Working Up

by Dwayne Phillips

When talking with others, it helps to use one letter of the alphabet and avoid using two others.

The one letter to use: I

This comes from the old adage, “speak for yourself.” That is harder than it seems as smart people (like me) know so much we are qualified to speak for most if not all of mankind (not). Wow. So much arrogance.

One letter to avoid: U

Avoid, “You did this or that or something wrong!”

The second letter to avoid: Y

Avoid, “Why is this all messed up?”

Let’s combine the two letters to avoid into the common question, “Why did you do this (and ruin my life)?” The poor other person is now on the defensive and in the impossible situation of explaining the universe to me.

Try this instead, “I don’t understand what is happening here. Please help me.” I am in trouble. The other person is powerful. I want their assistance. Perhaps they will help me.

I have had this conversation with countless people. One frequent response is, “Look, (1) I’m a straight shooter. (2) I tell it like it is. (3) I don’t have time to fool around.”

(1) Who said we were talking about shooting some thing or some person?

(2) Oh, all understanding of the universe is held in your mind with never a mistake.

(3) Oh, all valuable time in the universe is yours. Excuse me.

It isn’t easy to work with other people (sometimes). It isn’t easy to convey meaning to other people (sometimes). I find the result is usually worth the effort. Given above are some simple tips. Try them.