Working Up

by Dwayne Phillips

People on the outside don’t know what people on the inside have discussed. People on the inside, however, tend to assume they do.

The situation is common, and defies common sense. A small group of persons meet and discuss an issue. They discuss it for hours, sometimes days, and sometimes weeks. They discuss it so much they know what the next person is going to say before they say it. They discuss it so much they develop inside jokes.

No one outside the group knows has any insight into the discussions. They’ve never heard the inside jokes.

The inner circle finally meets with everyone else and gives a presentation of what is coming next in the organization. The inner circle assumes the outer circle knows everything the inner circle knows. The issue has been discussed to death; surely everyone knows that and knows the discussion.

The inner circle members quip inside jokes and laugh hysterically. The outer circle members look at each other silently and shrug with embarrassment.

All subsequent efforts at addressing the issue flop miserably. The inner circle wonders why the outer circle is so dense and worthless. Maybe next time the outer circle won’t be so clueless.

Some Lessons:

• If you are on an inner circle and have discussed a topic to death, that is your problem. No one made you discuss a topic until you were sick of it. You did it to yourselves.
• No one outside the inner circle knows anything about your discussions.
• If you want the outer circle to know the inner circle discussions, you have to repeat them in full to the outer circle.
• Sorry. There are no mind readers.
• Sorry. The outer circle does not have blind trust in the genius of the inner circle.
• Life can be tough sometimes. Deal with it.

If you work with other persons, and I am pretty sure the vast majority of us do, you need to spend the time and effort to explain yourself. Once again, sorry, but that is life.