Working Up

by Dwayne Phillips

I write this one with some hesitancy as there is always something to be learned by continually listening. Sometimes, however, listen for meta messages, not the message as the messenger is clearly confused.

Sometimes the best thing to do is stop listening—for now. And also, don’t waste time and energy wondering about what the message the messenger is sending. I hesitate with this advice.

I encourage listening; what’s more, I encourage noticing, i.e., using all the senses when receiving messages.

Often, however, the message is, “I don’t know what I am saying or writing.”

The better response is learning and teaching. Learning what the messenger desires to say or write and teaching them what to say and how to say it.

This learning and teaching requires a closer conversation. If that closer conversation is not yet available, wait until it is. Stop listening, for now, and don’t waste and time or energy wondering what the person is trying to say. In my experience, my wondering will be incredibly wrong—so wrong that it hinders my understanding of the true message.