Working Up

by Dwayne Phillips

Will the solution solve anything? Will the solution make the situation worse?

“Let’s fix that!”—the cry of the optimistic solution-er.

Will the solution improve our situation or only make it worse?

A long-time colleague once described a situation he faced decades ago. Things at home were a mess. His wife and kids were a mess. His house was a physical mess. When he came home from work he wanted to immediately return to “the office” because the office wasn’t such a mess. Life was a mess.

A solution: become a manager at work. Be paid more money. Hire a maid to remove the mess at home.

Let’s think this through. His home was a mess because he and his spouse couldn’t manage it. Becoming a manager at work would be a disaster because, as he just admitted, he was a lousy manager. If he became a manager at work, the office would be a mess, the home would still be a mess, there would be no non-messy place to hide.

The solution would make the situation worse.

Think. Thinking it through is often less costly than running an experiment (like my colleague becoming a manager at work). What about the situation makes me think I should bring a solution? Ask again and again and ask deeper each time.

For my colleague: the home is a mess.

Who is in charge at home? Me. I am the home mess maker.

Where is the solution? At home, with me.

But I want to make more money and hire someone to fix me at home.

Am I qualified to make more money? No, when it comes to a group of people, I am a mess maker.

What am I qualified to do? Fix me. Well, maybe I am. Maybe I need a little help from someone else to fix me.

Where can I find someone to help fix me?

Aha! We finally reach the question we should ask. Seek help to fix me. Then work back through the situation. Perhaps, just perhaps, one day my home won’t be a mess, and I can take a new job at work and earn more money if that is still what I wish.

Other examples:

No one comes to our volunteer organization any more. There are all sorts of solutions, but maybe the primary issue is that no one wants to be in a room with me. What can I do to fix me so that others want to be with me?

No one gives to our charity any more. There are all sorts of solutions, but maybe the primary issue is that no one sees a good reason to put their resources in my hands. What can I do to fix me so that others want to share with me?

Perhaps the solution to the situation almost always begins with solving myself. Perhaps that is why I try all the wrong things first.