Working Up

by Dwayne Phillips

A group of STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics) folks sit at a table and dream. This is a fable. Don’t take it seriously folks.

One day in the cafeteria at a college, a group of STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics) persons gathered at a table near the patio. (Actually, it was a mildewed table in the corner know to everyone else as the “nerd table.”)

“We need to pull one over on the business majors,” suggested one person.

“Yeah,” added another. “Something big. A real big gag. Make them look foolish.”

“And,” chimed in a third, “do it in a way so that we make lots of money.”

“Yeah,” added a fourth. “Might as well make lots of money.”

They thought and they thought and they thought. They were good a sitting quietly and thinking at lunch. No one else noticed the quiet, deep thinking as that is what nerds did all the time.

“I’ve got it,” said one of the nerd…I mean STEMers. “Let’s create a new profession and convince the business majors that they need to hire that new profession.”

“But how will we make money?” asked another.

“Simple,” said the one who had the idea. “It is a profession so simple that all of us already know how to do it.”

He continued. “We all know problem solving, some statistics, math beyond all these business majors, some computer programming, some systematic approaches, and general principles.”

The others looked on curiously. They didn’t know what to say. Of course they all knew the things he mentioned. Who didn’t? Well, the others in the cafeteria didn’t, but there was lots they didn’t know.

“All we need now is a catchy name for this new profession,” said the first.

They all thought a minute longer.

“Let’s get a marketing major to find us a name,” suggested one.

“Yes!” said another. “I am tutoring a marketing major right now. I’ll give him a free session in exchange for a catchy name.”

The group gathered again several days later for lunch in the same, mildewed corner of the cafeteria.

“I have the name,” said one of them.

He wrote it on a napkin and passed it around the table. They all smiled. They all knew they would have jobs for the next decade and demand high, high salaries.

And that, boys and girls, is how we created…

Data Science.

(I told you this was a fable. Don’t take it seriously.)