Working Up

by Dwayne Phillips

Sometimes we do things backwards and expect everyone else to know.

Here in the year of the virus, I sit outside a nationally recognized chain of coffee shops (whose name begins with an “S”) viewing the Internet and occasionally writing blog posts….(is that a long-enough opening sentence?)…

But anyways, in the year of the virus, customers (the paying type) must enter the establishment through one door, purchase their caffeine-laden beverages, grab-and-go, and exit through another door. I am sitting outside the exit door, so I have an excellent view of this otherwise most-non-excellent arrangement.

The exit door is one of those double doors. There is a right side and a left side. Here in America, we drive on the right side of the road. We walk on the right side of the sidewalk. We traverse the right side of everything we traverse. It is sort of a social agreement. Right?

Well, as paying customers exit this S—-, they push on the right door only to find it locked. They push it a few more times in the belief that they just didn’t push it hard enough the first couple of times. They eventually push the left door to learn that it is unlocked. The right door is locked; the left door is unlocked.

I suppose there is some good historical reason why the doors are locked and unlocked in this seemingly backwards arrangement. There must be as the managers of this S— are neither stupid nor diabolical.

Here is an idea: block the right door with a chair or some other door-blocking device so that your paying customers know that they should use the left door. That way, they won’t be so troubled while exiting after paying for their caffeine-laden beverages.

I suppose there is some good historical reason why the locked door isn’t blocked. There must be as the managers of this S— are neither stupid nor diabolical.

Why do we do these things to ourselves? We change a convention without telling anyone else that we are doing things backwards. Humor? Who knows? It is obvious to me, so it must be obvious to you. Right? Perhaps not.

Anyways, life goes on in the year of the virus.