Working Up

by Dwayne Phillips

In our personal lives, we often take all the risk without asking others to share it. The basic, but rarely asked, question is, “What does each person have to lose?”

I am sitting here sipping coffee pondering what to do. Someone is asking me to wait, and wait, and wait. Perhaps they will show up, perhaps later. If they don’t show up…sigh, I have wasted the morning. That is what I have to lose, the entire morning.

What does the other person have to lose? Nothing. They are late because they are busy doing something else that is productive and rewarding for them.

I have my morning to lose; they have nothing to lose. I am risking my morning; they are risking nothing.

The stakes are low. Let’s go on.

Now let’s multiply the stakes. Instead of risking a morning, I am risking several months salary. The other party is still risking nothing. Uh, we are not sharing risk. I am bearing all the risk.

Let’s negotiate this a bit. Let’s make the risk carried by each party explicit and discuss ways to even the risk a bit. If the other party is not willing to share risk, the conversation ends. Nice knowing you, goodbye.

Sometimes carrying all the risk myself is worth it to me. I really want to have that meeting or that job. Sometimes carrying all the risk myself is not worth it to me. I am able to walk away.

Suggestions: (1) If I walk away, do so on the friendliest terms I can find. I value the other person. (2) Openly discuss risk and risk sharing.

The risk-sharing discussion is between two respectable and respected parties. Both parties deserve consideration from the other. Sharing risk is a respectable and respected thing to do. Speak with respect in respectable terms, but speak.

There is little reason to carry all the risk.