Working Up

by Dwayne Phillips

Stop. Breathe. Think. Now act in a way that leads to what is desired.

Stop. Breathe. Think. Act. In that order.

I think that is the definition of a wise person acting wisely. “Knee jerk reactions” are not in the definition.

A long time ago (in a galaxy far, far away) a wise person told me a true story of one of their adult children who was about to marry. The spouse of this wise person told the adult child, “Don’t marry that person. That is a mistake!” The wise person told the adult child, “I love you. I want the best for you.”

The marriage of the adult child ended quickly and with hatred. Guess whom the adult child looked to for further guidance. Of course it wasn’t the, “I told you so” parent.

The wise person desired the adult child to continue their relationship. The wise person acted in a way that led to that desire. The unwise parent acted in a short-term manner that brought some short-term results. Enough chastising the unwise from some true story in some family’s past.

The same wise-person advice applies to the rest of us—especially those of us who attempt to lead people and manage work. What do we want to happen? How should we act to lead to that desired outcome? Stop. Breathe. Think. Sometimes situations simply push us towards neglecting these steps and this order. We have an emergency, or at least we think we have an emergency that needs a knee-jerk reaction (why do we blame our knees?).

Let’s do better.