Working Up

by Dwayne Phillips

Much of the jargon we use doesn’t make sense. If we didn’t use the nonsense, no one would understand us.

We use jargon. I work in computers, and we are one of the worst offenders of jargon in communication. The jargon is nonsense. If I used real words, however, no one would understand me.

Consider: do you have your computing in the cloud or on premise?

First, we consider cloud computing. Cloud?

Cloud: noun, a visible mass of condensed water vapor floating in the atmosphere, typically high above the ground. OR a state or cause of gloom, suspicion, trouble, or worry.

What is the relation between computers in a data center hundred of miles away and condensed water vapor floating in the atmosphere? I have sought that relation for years and don’t have a clue. And then there is the dark cloud of gloom, suspicion, trouble, or worry. Calling a data center a cloud is closer to gloom, suspicion, trouble, or worry than anything else.

Second, we consider computers on premise.

Premise: noun, a previous statement or proposition from which another is inferred or follows as a conclusion.

People mean premises.

Premises: noun, a house or building, together with its land and outbuildings, occupied by a business or considered in an official context.

For some reason we drop the “s” at the end of the word as we want to save one byte of storage or something.

Cloud, premise: two simple yet common forms of nonsense. Yet we repeat the nonsense. We can do better.