by Dwayne Phillips Try as we might, we often jump to a conclusion while bypassing the rather boring gathering of facts. Results are predictable and predicted. “Jump to conclusions” is an old cliche. Let’s try to put a little more thought into this topic. Consider the Satir Interaction Model from the late family therapist Virginia […]
Entries Tagged as 'Communication'
Jumping to Conclusions
October 4th, 2012 · No Comments
Tags: Communication · People
Silence is…
September 20th, 2012 · No Comments
by Dwayne Phillips I was once told that “silence is agreement” and that “everyone who has a brain knows that.” I disagree. Silence is silence. If you want to know what is behind silence, ask. It was 20 years ago. I had sat through some meeting on some forgotten topic where I rolled my eyes […]
Tags: Communication · Expectations · Management · Meetings
Expecting and Inspecting
August 23rd, 2012 · No Comments
by Dwayne Phillips “You get what you inspect, not what you expect” (source forgotten, lesson relearned painfully too often) Relearning can be painful. At least “learning” is in there somewhere, and I believe that learning is a fruitful use of time. Here’s a recent conversation: Manager: I can’t believe how bad the quality of work […]
Tags: Communication · Expectations · Management
Disdain and the Transfer of Power
August 16th, 2012 · No Comments
by Dwayne Phillips I observe that some people will transfer the power over their lives to people whom they disdain. I find this odd, but I find it often. Some people will give other people power over their lives. The conversation goes something like this: Person A: “That person is ruining my life!” Me: “How […]
Tags: Communication · People
Manager Slang: Get Well
July 12th, 2012 · No Comments
by Dwayne Phillips Project managers often use major changes to “get well.” They use the confusion of a major change to cover over lots of problems. Projects change. That appears to be a fact of life. Every now and then, a major change occurs. Examples include, Two large organizations merge A large organization splits into […]
Tags: Change · Communication · Estimation · Management · Uncategorized
Power and Listening
July 5th, 2012 · No Comments
by Dwayne Phillips I learn how to raise someone else’s power by losing some of my own. I once received a call in my office from a gentleman named Brian. Brian worked for a company up the road half an hour away. There was something weighing heavy on Brian’s mind. He didn’t sound like himself […]
Tags: Communication · People
Self-Esteem and Buying a Car
July 2nd, 2012 · No Comments
by Dwayne Phillips An experience with high self-esteem, congruent communication, and buying a car. A few years ago, my wife and I bought a new van. Our old van was ten years old, and one of our sons was about to start college. We would need a third vehicle and decided to buy a new […]
Tags: Communication · Fear · Health
Three Magic Words that Erase a Negative
May 7th, 2012 · No Comments
by Dwayne Phillips When you say or hear a negative statement, add “up until now” to erase the negative. These magic words come from author and consultant Jerry Weinberg. They are great erasers. Here are some examples: I am not a good writer…up until now I stutter when I speak in front of people…up until […]
Tags: Communication · Meetings
Who Does That?
April 30th, 2012 · No Comments
by Dwayne Phillips Taking from Seth Godin, what kills large organizations is that people don’t know what other people are doing. Managers at the top level are responsible for these problems. Seth Godin has a recent post on his blog that I love to hate or hate to love or something. He highlights a problem […]
Tags: Communication · Management
The Boss and the Employees
April 19th, 2012 · No Comments
by Dwayne Phillips Once you refer to some person as “boss” and other persons as “employees,” all is lost. I saw this post a few days back about the boss’ greatest fear. They don’t want the employees to catch them on video. There might be something in the video that can harm them. Let’s back […]
Tags: Communication · Management