Working Up

by Dwayne Phillips

An age-old question that won’t seem to go away.

Odd how things come around. I keep a file with ideas for blog posts. I jotted some notes for this post about six months ago. I was perusing that file and noticed this. While the context of that note jotting months ago was completely different, it is exactly the same. Hmmm, timely?

The topic of this question is the person who will placate. That is, the placating person will place the other person on a pedestal to never be disturbed. The other person will poke and prod and such, but the placating person will continue to move along without a protest, without a,

“Hey, I exist. I matter as much as you.”

A rational person can state that others are placating because they are satisfied.

In the same situation, a rational person can state that others are placating because their position renders them unable to act otherwise.

Events can reverse the roles. The placating person can assert themselves loudly enough so that the other person shrinks and placates the now-assertive person.

The new-found assertiveness changes everything, but leaves us in the same situation: one person is all important while one person is completely submissive. Progress? Perhaps, perhaps not.

What we seek, and what we may never achieve, is that one person, the other person, and the context are all equal. (Yes, the context, the culture and our society, is important as well.)