Working Up

by Dwayne Phillips

This is perhaps the once piece of writing advice that has more return per ounce of effort there is.

How many words do you have in a sentence? Here is an example of the first sentence of an article in a nationally famous newspaper (The Washington Post, 1 April 2021, and it is not an April Fool’s Joke):

“In April last year, an investigator from the Food and Drug Administration reported problems he had discovered at a Baltimore plant operated by Emergent BioSolutions, a major supplier of vaccines to the federal government.”

There are 34 words in this sentence. I must take a deep breathe before reading it so I can make it all the way without stopping to breathe again.

How about writing this instead (caution: I am an engineer, not a journalist):

“In April 2020, an FDA investigator reported problems at an Emergent BioSolutions Baltimore plant. The company is a major federal vaccine supplier.”

Two sentences totaling 22 words or 11 words per sentence.

Are we still in the age when newspapers must will pages, so they put more instead of less words? Are we still in the age when journalists are paid by the word?

I thought we had past that. I was wrong.