Working Up

by Dwayne Phillips

It isn’t easy to admit that I lack knowledge for something that “I should know.” Most people are like me in this respect. How can I “help” without looking over their shoulder?

“Maybe if you did it that way instead of this way,” said the eager, wanting-to-be-helpful person standing behind me and looking over my shoulder.

Why can’t these people simply go away. Don’t they know that I don’t want them standing behind me, looking over my shoulder, and telling me how the world should be?

The situation is completely different, however, when I am trying to “help” someone else do whatever it is they are doing. They simply don’t have the benefit of my experience and I am happy to share and all things will be better in the world when they listen to me and …

and I am looking over their shoulder and I don’t understand it when they react the same way I react

Yet, there is a point when we all need someone to show us a better way. How can we do that without looking over their shoulder.

Some things to avoid saying:

• Let me HELP you
• Why are you doing that?
• I know how to do this (it’s obvious you don’t)

Some things that are a little more acceptable:

• I was stuck on this a few days ago, it was frustrating
• I never understood this and I still don’t really understand it now, but I saw something that worked
• I hate it when that happens, too.

Shift from YOU (you’re obviously wrong and you obviously need HELP)

to

I (I don’t know it all, I stumbled lots of times, I was blessed to find something that worked better for me).